My toe didn’t feel any better this morning, so I headed out as a walk-in to my family medicine doctor. I don’t know if it is like this everywhere, but everyone in town is sick right now. They were only taking sick walk-ins today, but when I explained my situation to the receptionist (a former runner) she said she would squeeze me in. Except I could not get into my doctor…only to the NP (who knows nothing about running injuries). First she bitched me out about my black toenails and why I have not done anything. Then she told me an x-ray would show nothing and she would not send me for a CT scan even though it the only thing that would give a definitive answer. She referred me to a podiatrist, who can’t see me until after the marathon. So, great. I am no better off than I was this morning when I got out of bed but am totally frustrated with the medical process. I know a great orthopedist and physical therapist, but I can’t get in to either of them in a week either or without a referral. Maybe I would have been better off at the ER. I just sat there on the verge of tears…for possible loss of the months of hard work, for being so close to this goal again only to watch it fade away, for the impossibility of getting an answer to my question about whether or not I can/should run. I was mad when I left the office today. I said that I guess I’d just go run 26.2 miles and then we should be able to tell if I have a stress fracture or not.
After I go cry and drown myself in chocolate (oh wait…I can’t do that if I am not running), my plan is to surround myself with positive healing energy. I will take my anti-inflammatories and sit on my butt icing, heating, and whirlpooling my foot. I will get out the bike and cross train. I will try my best to heal up and hope for the best. Maybe, just maybe I can still make it across the finish line.